The Life of a Pastor's Wife

This weekend, Gary and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary as pastors at First Assembly in Siloam Springs.  It's unbelievable how fast it has gone by!  What a great place to worship the Lord and raise a family.

So in celebration of our "pastoring anniversary" I thought I would share some of my thoughts on life as a Pastor's Wife.  Some are funny; some are serious; but all are part of my life.  Understand this is my personal list so other pastor's wives may or may not agree with this list.

1.  It's okay to be yourself - This is the biggest lesson I have learned in the 20+ years of ministry!  I thought you had to fit a "mold" when we first started ministry.  I soon found out I cannot live up to the expectations of everyone, and God made me who I am for a specific reason.  So I love who I am and who God made me.  It's much easier to be yourself than someone you are not.

2.  Ministry is full of joy and pain - Most of the time the joys outweigh the pain, but there are seasons.  Funerals are the saddest part of ministry but when you know the final destination is Heaven, it is comforting.

3.  Confidentiality is a must - people TRUST us with their confidential information and there is NO ROOM for compromise.  I place a very high priority on keeping confidentiality.

4.  Not everyone likes me - This is one that took a long time for me to learn to live with because I want everyone to not only like me but love me!  Just a complete myth so I refer back to #1 on the list...just be who you are.

5.  Parties wear me out eventually - My mom teases me every year around Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hanging out with friends and socializing, but sometimes I get too much and just have to make myself go to another event.  My mom says "remember when you were a teenager and wanted to be a pastor's wife so you could go to lots of parties?"  That makes me laugh that I thought that was what ministry was about.

6.  Everyone can't be my best friend - This is another area that I still struggle with.  I want to have LOTS of close, best friends, but it is impossible with a large congregation.  I hate not having close relationships.  Gary often reminds me that Jesus had 12, then 3, then 1.

7.  My priority is my husband - Ministry is awesome but sometimes it's stressful.  My main "job" is to support my man, stand beside him, and love him no matter what is going on.  That's what God has called me to do.

8.  My kids are just kids - I am thankful for a congregation that allows Ashlyn and Mitchell to be kids and not "perfect pastor's kids".  It makes me mad/sad when I hear people criticize other pastor's kids because they were born into ministry.

9.  Loving people is the key - Gary and I laugh when we hear this statement "I would love ministry if it wasn't for the people."  Really?  Isn't that what it's all about?  People are awesome and I love serving them!

10.  Laughter is the best medicine - There are many funny things that happen in ministry, sometimes it's others, somtimes it's me.  It's best to laugh at yourself and find it entertainment and therapy than being upset.  I've said plenty of silly things, done lots of crazy things, and been the recipient of plenty of jokes.  Just laugh and find it humorous!  Life's too short.

So this is my top ten list.  I'm sure you can relate to everything I've mentioned.  Ministry is a high calling I take very seriously, but it is so much fun and worth every minute!!!

Thanks for 10 great years, Siloam Springs, and thanks for 20+ years Fort Smith, OKC, Beebe, and Norman!  Love to you all!!!!

Summer Time

This is the first summer in several years that I have had a complete summer break.  When I left teaching to adopt Mitchell, I worked for the church and had to work in the summertime.  So when I went back to work full time at the High School last year, I was excited about the thought of the summer off.

Because of all the snow, we have a short summer break this year, but I am totally happy with it!!!  With my A-type personality, I created a long list of things I wanted to accomplish during the summer.  I have gotten some things on the list finished and still have lots more to go.

We are currently on vacation in Colorado and when we return, I have one week and then back to school.  I am sure my to do list will not be complete (which drives an A-type crazy), but at least some things were accomplished and I had the privilege to spend lots of time with my kids. 

When I look at the "big picture" that's what really matters.  My daughter will be graduating in three short years and my little guy will grow up faster than I want.  I hope they will have great memories of summer fun with their parents on vacation, sleeping in, swimming, hanging out with friends, and living in a happy home.  That's the big picture....not how clean my closets are, not how well mopped the floors appear, not my crazy A-type demands.

I can't change my personality, but I am trying to enjoy the little things and realize it will be over before I blink and then I can clean my closets and mop my floors everyday if I want.  My kids are growing up too quickly.

So for now, my plan is to enjoy Summer Time!  I LOVE being a teacher! What a great occupation.