Monday, September 20, 2010

The Truth About Change

I thought I would be so faithful to blogging when I started it over a month ago, but that has not been the case.  It seems life has changed too much in the past month.  Let's see, where do I even begin...

1st Day of School

My baby girl started High School and my little man started Kindergarten.  I have a friend on Facebook who said it best, "Good luck with the Geometry and Finger painting."  So true when you have children at such different ages.  We are all acclimating to change.  I think Ashlyn loves High School and especially block scheduling because there is typically less homework with only 4 classes a day.  Mitchell likes Kindergarten, but he would rather be home than going to school.  He always wants to know when it will be Saturday "Stay Home Day" as he calls it.  Who can blame him?

As for me, I thought going back to work full time wouldn't be that big of an adjustment with the hours I was already working between two part time jobs.  Oh contrare, my friend!  It has been quite an interesting month.  I haven't taught Accounting in 12 years so I've been "brushing up" my skills to teach on a daily basis.  There is just a lot of preparation that goes into everyday of teaching.  Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy what I do.  I want to make a positive difference everyday in the life of someone I teach.  So far, I am trying to build relationships and get to know my students better.

Then there is church.  This is probably where the biggest change is occurring for me.  I have gone from knowing everything that goes on and being a part of the decision making process to now not even feeling connected.  If you have never been involved in full time ministry, you may not understand what I am talking about.  But this is my honest, candid feeling.  I am a Pastor's wife who feels like a stranger in my own church.  I know with time it will get better because I've been down this road before.

I have been spoiled to seeing my wonderful husband all day, and now there are days we are blessed if we even get to talk with each other.  This has been the hardest part!  He's had to be out of town quite frequently the past few weeks.  In fact, he is in Brazil now.  But when he gets home, we need to plan a few date nights, and get "re connected." Oh how I miss him. 
So now that I have really poured out the truth about change for the Preacher's Wife, I want to share with you what God's been doing.  Yesterday, we had a wonderful service at church that felt designed specifically for me.  God is so great to reassure us as His children that He has not forgotten where we are and how we feel.  There is truly nothing like the presence of the Lord to refresh, revive, and restore our lives.  Right now, I am making it a point to spend more time in the Word and in prayer.  That is where my strength comes from daily.

Just this morning as I was reading the Word, I came across this verse, and I KNOW it was for me:
Psalm 94:19  "When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer."  

You know, today has been the best day I've had in a long time, and I know it's because HIS comfort has renewed my hope and given me joy! He always knows what we need, and He has proven His faithfulness to me yet again the past 24 hours.  "I am not forgotten, God knows my name!"

I must remember my life is just a vapor...what will I do while I am here to make a difference in the world?