The Life of a Pastor's Wife

This weekend, Gary and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary as pastors at First Assembly in Siloam Springs.  It's unbelievable how fast it has gone by!  What a great place to worship the Lord and raise a family.

So in celebration of our "pastoring anniversary" I thought I would share some of my thoughts on life as a Pastor's Wife.  Some are funny; some are serious; but all are part of my life.  Understand this is my personal list so other pastor's wives may or may not agree with this list.

1.  It's okay to be yourself - This is the biggest lesson I have learned in the 20+ years of ministry!  I thought you had to fit a "mold" when we first started ministry.  I soon found out I cannot live up to the expectations of everyone, and God made me who I am for a specific reason.  So I love who I am and who God made me.  It's much easier to be yourself than someone you are not.

2.  Ministry is full of joy and pain - Most of the time the joys outweigh the pain, but there are seasons.  Funerals are the saddest part of ministry but when you know the final destination is Heaven, it is comforting.

3.  Confidentiality is a must - people TRUST us with their confidential information and there is NO ROOM for compromise.  I place a very high priority on keeping confidentiality.

4.  Not everyone likes me - This is one that took a long time for me to learn to live with because I want everyone to not only like me but love me!  Just a complete myth so I refer back to #1 on the list...just be who you are.

5.  Parties wear me out eventually - My mom teases me every year around Christmas.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hanging out with friends and socializing, but sometimes I get too much and just have to make myself go to another event.  My mom says "remember when you were a teenager and wanted to be a pastor's wife so you could go to lots of parties?"  That makes me laugh that I thought that was what ministry was about.

6.  Everyone can't be my best friend - This is another area that I still struggle with.  I want to have LOTS of close, best friends, but it is impossible with a large congregation.  I hate not having close relationships.  Gary often reminds me that Jesus had 12, then 3, then 1.

7.  My priority is my husband - Ministry is awesome but sometimes it's stressful.  My main "job" is to support my man, stand beside him, and love him no matter what is going on.  That's what God has called me to do.

8.  My kids are just kids - I am thankful for a congregation that allows Ashlyn and Mitchell to be kids and not "perfect pastor's kids".  It makes me mad/sad when I hear people criticize other pastor's kids because they were born into ministry.

9.  Loving people is the key - Gary and I laugh when we hear this statement "I would love ministry if it wasn't for the people."  Really?  Isn't that what it's all about?  People are awesome and I love serving them!

10.  Laughter is the best medicine - There are many funny things that happen in ministry, sometimes it's others, somtimes it's me.  It's best to laugh at yourself and find it entertainment and therapy than being upset.  I've said plenty of silly things, done lots of crazy things, and been the recipient of plenty of jokes.  Just laugh and find it humorous!  Life's too short.

So this is my top ten list.  I'm sure you can relate to everything I've mentioned.  Ministry is a high calling I take very seriously, but it is so much fun and worth every minute!!!

Thanks for 10 great years, Siloam Springs, and thanks for 20+ years Fort Smith, OKC, Beebe, and Norman!  Love to you all!!!!

Summer Time

This is the first summer in several years that I have had a complete summer break.  When I left teaching to adopt Mitchell, I worked for the church and had to work in the summertime.  So when I went back to work full time at the High School last year, I was excited about the thought of the summer off.

Because of all the snow, we have a short summer break this year, but I am totally happy with it!!!  With my A-type personality, I created a long list of things I wanted to accomplish during the summer.  I have gotten some things on the list finished and still have lots more to go.

We are currently on vacation in Colorado and when we return, I have one week and then back to school.  I am sure my to do list will not be complete (which drives an A-type crazy), but at least some things were accomplished and I had the privilege to spend lots of time with my kids. 

When I look at the "big picture" that's what really matters.  My daughter will be graduating in three short years and my little guy will grow up faster than I want.  I hope they will have great memories of summer fun with their parents on vacation, sleeping in, swimming, hanging out with friends, and living in a happy home.  That's the big picture....not how clean my closets are, not how well mopped the floors appear, not my crazy A-type demands.

I can't change my personality, but I am trying to enjoy the little things and realize it will be over before I blink and then I can clean my closets and mop my floors everyday if I want.  My kids are growing up too quickly.

So for now, my plan is to enjoy Summer Time!  I LOVE being a teacher! What a great occupation.

Obsessions

 Most of you who know our son, Mitchell, know about his many obsessions.  It started with garage doors, then street signs, and now is the Statue of Liberty.  All odd, of course!  I have told Gary many times I think Mitchell has some form of Obsessive-Compulsive behavior, and this year, his kindergarten teacher agreed with me!   I won't go into great detail about his obsessions because it would take forever to write.  But in general, when he becomes fascinated with an object, it's ALL he can think about and talk about.  In fact, as I am typing, he is standing beside me drawing a Statue of Liberty masterpiece.  He brought home his Kindergarten journal at the end of school, and every page had a writing, some about the Statue, others about varied topics.  But on almost every page, there was a drawing of Lady Liberty.  He even told me recently he wanted "long, lady hair" so he could put it in a ponytail bun like Lady Liberty.  I bet you didn't even know what her hair looked like in the back?  I didn't until Mitchell pointed it out.  Needless to say, this obsession "thing" drives our family crazy at times.

So, this morning I was thinking about Mitchell's behavior, and the thought came to me, "What if I was obsessed with God like Mitchell is obsessed with the Statue of Liberty?"  What if all I thought about was how I wanted to be like Him, look like Him, act like Him?  It was a challenge to me to be more obsessed with my Heavenly Father.  After all, aren't a few obsessions good? 

God, help me to be more like you. Help me to love you more every day, help me to crave Your Word, help me to focus on you continually.  Let me be a beacon of light to my world for YOUR glory!

The Glass House

I'm sure many of you have heard that Pastor's Homes are sometimes referred to as "Glass Houses" or "Fish Bowls" meaning everyone seems to know what goes on at your house or knows all your business.  Thankfully, that really isn't completely the truth for us.  Our congregation and community allows our family to just be humans most of the time.  We get the occasional...."and those are preacher's kids..." but that's not the norm.

Funny thing...just last night we were laughing about how our ordinary life experiences seem to always turn into a great sermon illustration for the preacher.  The kids and I have to watch our moves more for the sake that Gary can turn any story into a great illustration that is shared from the pulpit.

Here's our latest fiasco - we decided that our kids would enjoy an above ground pool for the summer (and we would too).  So impulsively, we went shopping for a pool (thanks to my sweet co-worker Angie who gave me the idea).  This is a really long story, so I am going to try to abbreviate it.

We decided to purchase at Wal-Mart since the price was cheaper.  We got it home, set it up (which took a very long time) and began filling it with water.

Yesterday, we left the water running while we went to our Sunday night Fellowship Group.  Mitchell began complaining that he didn't feel good, so he climbed in my lap.  He was burning up with fever!!!  So we left early and headed home.  Mitchell had a 103.4 temp which concerned me, but what we found at home was traumatic! Ashlyn was going to check on the pool progress.  She announced, "I think there is a bird in the pool".  Upon my quick observation I yelled, "It's not a bird, it's one of our dogs!"  We have two spoiled yorkies that we love dearly.  Somehow our older one, Molly, had leaned up against the pool and fallen in while it was filling.  We have no idea how long she had been there but was completely soaked and shaking!  If we had stayed another one and a half hours at the fellowship group, she would not have survived!  Needless to say, I hated that Mitchell felt bad, but for Molly's sake and the sake of trauma for our kids, I was glad we came home and rescued her.  Okay, so that event ended.

Then a little later, Ashlyn comes in and says, "Why is there so much water around the outside of the pool?"  Upon inspection, Gary found a seam that was burst and spewing water!!!!  This is just our luck.  So after all the hours putting it together, getting it 3/4 way full of water, we had to let all the water out, try to pack it back up, and return the silly thing to Wal-Mart.  Needless to say....several more hours have passed with the pool saga.

I began researching online the pool we purchased and it had very negative reviews (imagine that)!  So it went back today, and we now have a pool waiting to be put together in the backyard.  We checked the reviews on this one!

What's comical is how one thing leads to another....we are hauling in two tons of sand tomorrow, removing a stump, talking about new landscaping and so on just so the kiddos can splash around in the water on these hot summer days.

I really don't think there is a reason for this story other than to share what a crazy event this pool has been.  I guess that's what happens when mama decides to impulse shop!

Have a blessed week and as soon as we get the sand and the pool set up, feel free to come over and hang out with us!

Easter Celebration!

Today we celebrate the greatest day for Christian believers - Jesus Christ is Risen!!!!

As I reflect on our church services today, I found some interesting items.  Today was the largest crowd at our church since Gary and I became the pastors at First A/G in Siloam Springs. There was no "WOW Factor" to draw a crowd.  It was a VERY wet, dreary morning, but the excitement in the building was incredible!  We opened with three praise songs about Jesus, and people were singing like they were happy to be there.  The message was awesome, of course, since I think we have the best pastor in the world!  At the end, we celebrated some more with great music.  Everyone was happy, had a smile on their face, and a bounce in their step!

Now, I say all of this to ask a simple question....why don't we as followers of Christ live this way EVERYDAY?????  I am as guilty as the rest, but it really occurred to me today.  Every Sunday should be Easter Sunday.  Attendance should be increasing every week, we should be singing and rejoicing every week, and smiles and happiness should exude every week. 

So what do we do to keep the "Easter Spirit" alive in us?  The work is finished, Jesus paid the price, now let's celebrate everyday!  Let's try to keep our focus on the main thing.  Our Redeemer Lives!

Celebrations

It seems each year in mid-February, we begin the celebrations!

February 12th is Ashlyn's birthday.  I cannot believe my baby girl just turned 15 and in 365 days will be driving alone!  Look out...  She is such a beautiful young lady, and we are very proud of her.  God has blessed her with an amazing personality, unbelievable musical talent, and a heart for Him.  We couldn't be prouder of the young woman of God she is becoming!

February 14th is Mitchell's birthday.  I still cannot get over the fact that their birthdays are two days apart.  If you "plan" pregnancies, this might happen, but adoption????  It makes me laugh that we celebrate the same week.  Anyway, little man (as we call him) is now 6 and keeps us in stitches.  He has to be one of the funniest kids I've ever seen.  Right now his obsession is the statue of liberty.  He dresses up like a statue, asked for a cake of the statue and talks about it ALL the time.

March 1st rolls around and Gary and I celebrate our wedding anniversary.  This year is our 20th!  I cannot believe it's been 20 years!  I've been married longer than I was single. (I was really young.)  Marriage has its ups and downs, but Gary and I are blessed to have a wonderful, God centered marriage that I have come to cherish greatly.  I really do realize how unique and blessed our marriage is in today's standards. 

So in a few days, the celebrations come to an end for a few months.  It's been fun as it is every year.  Thank you Lord for your blessings of Ashlyn, Mitchell, and Gary in my life.  I am blessed more than I deserve!

The Life of a Rubber Band

As I was cooking last night and thinking about things that are currently happening in my life, I had a "mental pic" of a rubber band.  The purpose of a rubber band is to stretch to fit to hold things together. 

Lately, I feel like a rubber band....God is stretching me!  I am currently teaching an Adult Sunday School class called "Crazy Love" based on Francis Chan's book.  I am also teaching a Ladies Bible Study on Wednesday nights entitled "Radical" by David Platt.  These two books/series have created a "STRETCH" in my life for numerous reasons:

1.  The material in both series are very similar about how Christians ought to live out their faith.  It is not the norm, either.  It's a radical, get out of your comfort zone, and be all that Jesus told you to be kind of message.  That's a stretch for me.

2.  I am not very confident in myself when it comes to teaching adults.  I teach teenagers all day long, and it's a natural process for me.  They are very forgiving.  Adults are another story...but I am finding they are forgiving too and are as hungry for God to move in their lives as I am.   Again....another stretch.

3.  Finally, I feel like I am on a new spiritual journey, so to speak.  God is doing something new, fresh, and exciting in my life.  I think we all reach points where we feel we have become comfortable and need to be stretched spiritually.  So that's where I am.  I am so loving being in the Word, listening to His voice, and seeking His face.  It's an awesome experience.

So if you haven't been "stretched" in a while, I challenge you to pick up a copy of "Crazy Love" and/or "Radical" and see what God has for you.  It's changing our church!!!! 

To God be all glory, praise, and honor~
Krystal